Fake It Til You Make It
by ArtificialAorta
Summary: The fake relationship adventures continue when Darcy asks Clint to be her date to a wedding. It's probably a terrible idea but Jane's not available to pretend to be Darcy's lesbian lover so she's out of good ideas. Follows We Are Never Getting Back Together
1. Chapter 1

**Summary** : The fake relationship adventures continue when Darcy asks Clint to be her date to a wedding. It's probably a terrible idea but Jane's not available to pretend to be Darcy's lesbian lover so she's out of good ideas. Follows _We Are Never Getting Back Together_  
 **Pairing** : Darcy Lewis/Clint Barton  
 **Rating** : General but will probably become mature in later chapters  
 **A/N** : This is the second installment of my Trope-tastic adventures. I suggest you read _We Are Never Getting Back Together_ if you haven't already, just to get some context.

* * *

On a cold, snowy night, the Avengers could be found in Molly's. It was a nice Irish bar on 3rd Avenue and 23rd Street, that was yet another stop on the Around the World in 80 Days Avengers Food Tour. At this point, Clint was pretty sure they were just trying to hit every place in New York that was worth the time. Although it was a Tuesday night, the bar was still packed. Everyone wanted a warm stew or shepherd's pie to nurse in the premature dust of snow that hit the city in the beginning of November.

Just as a waitress finished cleaning off a tabletop and gave Clint the nod, he slid into the rustic booth from the bar. Following him was Darcy, Jane and Natasha. Darcy was first, slipping in and sitting across from him. Jane sat next to her and Natasha took the spot next to him. From the moment that Darcy slid into the booth, she watched Clint with intent that he couldn't name but still made his heart beat just a little faster. Taking a long sip of his beer, he eyed her back, not entirely sure what to expect. Suddenly, Jane and Natasha's presences felt as if they were there to keep him from leaving. He began to plan a possible escape in his head that didn't involve bringing too much attention to himself. The presence of Natasha made it difficult but he settled for a fake dive under the table to hide a jump over the booth.

"Clint, I need your body," Darcy said in a low, sultry tone. Clint choked on his beer. It spilled across his face, the table and down his shirt. As he coughed, lungs and throat burning, his body tensed with excitement. Wiping away the tears in his eyes and the beer on his face, Clint saw the smirk on Darcy's lips. Shame began to crush him.

He tried to hide the disappointment by fixing Darcy with an unimpressed frown.

"What do you want, Lewis?" asked Clint, swallowing past the lump in his throat. It was just a stupid little crush, he told himself. A tiny, childish crush.

It started months ago, when she was crying and he held her in his arms. The urge to kiss her overwhelmed him and he almost did until she sniffled and he remembered she'd been sobbing only minutes before. He wasn't going to take advantage of her. It was a dick move and Darcy deserved better. She deserved better than Matt, than Clint and any other jerk who didn't see how great she was.

Because she was more than good enough. She was one hell of a catch. She just wasn't Clint's catch. Besides, after leaving such a long and tough relationship, Darcy needed some time for herself, to heal. It wouldn't do her any good to jump straight into another one, or even just another bed. But it didn't stop his heart from beating faster when he saw her or the rush of euphoria that filled him when she laughed at one of his stupid jokes.

"I sort of need a favor," admitted Darcy, a little sheepish over her joke.

"What kind of favor?"

"Remember when you pretended to be my boyfriend?" Darcy asked nonchalantly. Clint leaned back on the booth and crossed his arms. He was concerned Matt had started begging for favors again. They'd have to have a talk.

"Is Matt giving you trouble?" asked Clint, grunting somewhat in disapproval. Maybe he'd read the skinny fucker wrong and Jane was completely right. Darcy let out a sigh.

"No. Yes...no. Well..."

"Darcy needs you to be her date for a wedding," Jane explained. Clint raised his brow, genuinely surprised and a little pleased Darcy wanted his support.

"Matt invited us to his wedding?"

"No, my cousin did. It's this weekend in Phoenix. Jane was gonna be my plus one and pretend to be my lesbian lover, but she got a last minute invite to some stupid conference in Aspen," Darcy dismissed, causing Jane to pout.

"They invited me to talk about my research and Stephen Hawking is going to be there," Jane explained but Darcy just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well, the wedding's gonna have like, two different types of fondue fountains. So, your loss."

"Two you say?" Clint pursed his lips, not at all ashamed that it was weighing heavily on the pro-side. Watching his internal debate made Natasha roll her eyes.

"I have to admit I'm a little bit disappointed," Jane said, stony faced. "I had a back story with a really touching coming out. In it, I nurse my grandmother back to health and I save a bus of orphans."

Clint wasn't sure whether or not he should laugh. No one else at the table was but at this point, they liked to play up Jane's dry sense of humor. It always surprised Clint whenever Jane offered a deadpan joke because sometimes, he wasn't sure if she was simply telling the truth. Normally, Thor was around to bark out a laugh and he'd take the social cue but right now, the big guy was busy chugging back a few beers at the bar. So, Clint looked to Natasha. There was a minute tug on the left side of her mouth. That was pretty much the equivalent of a normal person failing to hide a belly laugh.

"I would go but need to know business this weekend," Natasha said ominously before Clint could get in a snicker.

"Oh, so I'm your third choice?" scoffed Clint, a little hurt but he covered it with sarcasm. Darcy had the decency to look abashed. At least he was the first _guy_ she thought of.

"You're actually the fifth," Jane said. "We were considering Steve but he's going on vacation to Europe. Which I think actually means he's going to slum it in Eastern Europe for information about his dead-not dead friend. And Sam's joining him."

"Is this supposed to make me want to go? I think I'd rather slum it with Steve and Sam," huffed Clint.

"C'mon! It'll be fun. Free food and booze. The hotel and the ticket's already paid for. And…besides my family all think we're dating anyway," winced Darcy.

"How do they know about me?" Clint's brow furrowed in confusion. Had Darcy been talking about him to her folks? He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He hoped it was good.

"Well…Matt kind of told his mom that I was seeing someone else. Some hotshot government guy who protects the president," Darcy rolled her eyes and wildly waved her hands dismissively, which was kind of endearing, almost completely distracting Clint from the rest of what she was saying. "Then his mom called Doreen's mom, and she's such a total blab and told all the women in her book club-"

"Okay, I get it, small town, phone tree, everyone knows," interrupted Clint even though he kind of wanted to see Darcy work herself up into a self-righteous tizzy. It always made her nose wrinkle in bitterness and was completely adorable. He hated himself for thinking that.

"Anyway, my mom called me and made me tell her everything."

"Which was actually nothing," clarified Clint and he thought there was a bit of disappointment on Darcy's face at the comment.

"She was so excited for me, I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth."

"Also her cousin's a bridezilla and has been bragging that she's getting married before Darcy," explained Jane, making Darcy's cheeks flush.

"Yeah, Natasha may be a better option if that's the case. She'll make even the bride jealous of you," said Clint, feeling very close to saying yes with how sad Darcy was looking now. He briefly registered Jane complaining about her own amazing lesbian credentials.

To be honest, he wasn't sure if it was a good idea for him to pretend to be her boyfriend for so long. He actually genuinely liked Darcy and while nothing was going to happen with them anyway, he didn't want a _better_ preview of what he was missing. Either way, it was bound to bite him in the ass. But then Darcy frowned and pinned him with her best watery-eyed stare.

"Please? Two different types of fondue. You don't even have to be a good boyfriend. I'll tell my parents that we broke up right after, I promise," pouted Darcy.

"I don't know..." Clint began, looked past Darcy and towards the entrance. If he kept staring at her, he was going to break. Just as he pulled together the strength to give her a definitive no, a couple walked into the bar, bringing with them a flurry of wind and snow. Darcy followed his line of sight.

"You know, it reached 70 degrees in Phoenix today. And the hotel we're staying at has four pools," sang Darcy. The image of Darcy sunbathing in a bikini flashed through his mind. Clint sat up. Proving that his flesh was definitely weaker than the spirit (or maybe his spirit was just as willing as his flesh, he wasn't sure), Clint sighed and gave in.

When Darcy gave him a thousand thanks and promised many favors in return, all he cared about was the hug she gave him from across the table. Hell, if he was never going to be Darcy's actual boyfriend, then at least he was getting one weekend of pretend.

* * *

As Clint watched the taxi holding Darcy, Jane and Thor drive off, Natasha approached him. He ignored her and tried to hail another cab. When three full cabs passed by, he gave up.

"So, you gonna go for it this weekend?" asked Natasha. Clint raised an eyebrow and she raised one right back.

"Go for what? Fondue? Sunbathing? You know the answer is yes to both."

"And _you_ know what I'm talking about," said Natasha, a little exasperated. As much training as she had, Natasha was really impatient when it came to waiting for others to get on the same plane of deducing. Clint knew what she was hinting at but he wasn't going to admit it.

"I don't."

"Clint, I'm not going to repeat myself so you're on your own when you fuck up," began Natasha but Clint cut her off.

"Aren't I always on my own when I fuck up?" shrugged Clint.

"She likes you. Go for it and don't screw it up," Natasha finished, raising her arm for a taxi and one pulled up right in front of them. Clint cursed Natasha's luck and then her, when she shut the door in his face, telling him to find his own ride if he wouldn't stop being such a _tupitsa_. That left Clint alone, cold and wondering if Natasha somehow orchestrated more than she was letting on. After two more cabs passed him, Clint gave up and began to walk towards a subway station. Pulling up his collar and digging his hands into his pockets, he mulled over Natasha's advice. Darcy fond of him like he was a weird, slow cousin. At least, that's what he assumed. Had she and Natasha been talking or was Natasha just playing an elaborate game? Deciding that it did matter because Darcy needed a _friend_ this weekend (a friend that was pretending to bump uglies with her but that was neither here nor there at his point), Clint sighed and tried to push out of his head the way Darcy had looked at him when she'd first sat across from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** : Sorry for the wait but thank you for the responses! I've started a new job recently so I've been busy with that. But mostly good things are happening in my life now, so that's an improvement.

My issues aside, hope you enjoy the next chapter! We also get some insight into Darcy's feelings... ;)

* * *

"So what's our backstory? We're not sticking with me working for the president, are we?" asked Clint once he settled down in his seat next to Darcy. She had been nice enough to give him her aisle seat. They were on a Thursday morning flight to Phoenix and Darcy was unusually awake. He had a feeling the large coffee she'd just finished was actually her second. Or perhaps she was only as nervous as he was.

"No. I told my mom that you're a consultant for a private security company. But everyone's gonna ask if you've met Obama. Uncle Ted is likely to make some racist comments about Obama. He's Amy's dad."

"So, I'll probably just be silently nodding a lot?" Clint asked, remembering that Amy was the bride.

"Pretty much," shrugged Darcy. "Though if you want to play up the asshole boyfriend I dump, feel free to to offend Uncle Ted. It's really easy. Just say something rational about border control."

"Just point me the direction of the pool and the fondue, and I'm happy."

"Simple man with simple pleasures. Uncle Ted would like that," Darcy snickered and Clint let the joke go without fixing her with a frown.

"You not a fan of Uncle Ted?"

"He's kind of the worst. Always passively aggressively comparing me to Amy. And he's gonna be asking me about when I'm gonna get married and popping out a kid like it's the only real thing I have to offer in life."

"Tell him that we refuse to get married until gay marriage is legal in all states but until then, we'll live together in sin with our adopted, troubled black and hispanic youths," Clint said and Darcy began to guffaw. He didn't know many women who guffawed often but it was Clint's favorite way that Darcy expressed herself.

"Oh my god. Can we? I think he'd have a stroke!" Darcy only stifled her laughter when the passenger in the window seat waited impatiently for them to let him through. They stood up and let the man pass but Darcy took a moment to tap Clint's shoulder with hers. He missed the contact when she sat back down.

"So, is there anyone in the family you actually like?" Clint asked once they settled again. Darcy's shoulders slumped slightly and she looked down, focusing on the safety pamphlet in the seat pocket. His gut tightened.

"Aunt Lisa is super nice. She's my dad's sister. Married to Ted. My dad still doesn't believe they're married. Ted's so…controlling sometimes. I hate it."

"Is she happy?" Clint asked softly. He'd seen more than enough marriages like that as a kid. He didn't always like it but he didn't have a right to tell others how to best live their life if they were just doing what they could to get by. The question caught Darcy off guard and she took a long pause before answering.

"Yes. I think so. Her oldest son, my cousin Sam, has a couple kids she babysits a lot. Sam's pretty nice too. Quiet and super chillaxed. He used to smoke pot a lot in college," Darcy smiled, laughing at an inside joke. Her mood was lifted though and that made Clint's clenched stomach ease.

"What about your parents?"

"Mama and Papa Lewis?" Darcy smirked, nose wrinkling ever so slightly.

"Should I call them that?" Clint raised an eyebrow.

"Only if you want Papa Lewis to threaten you with a shotgun. He may do that anyway. Every time Matt came over, he liked to allude to it."

"I'll be on my best behavior," promised Clint, a muscle twitching in his shoulder at the mention of Matt. Or maybe it was the urge to wrap his arm around her.

"I'll let you in on a secret," whispered Darcy, leaning in close enough for him to smell her shampoo. It smelled like cucumber. "Papa Lewis doesn't own a shotgun."

"That's a relief."

"It's a Colt Diamondback."

"My fear is mingled with respect," admitted Clint and Darcy grinned. He looked down at his lap, because he knew if he didn't, he'd stare at her, silent and goofy.

"Mama Lewis will probably clutch her pearls at the age difference but we're gonna break up soon so whatever," Darcy shrugged, pulling out a Scientific American she bought at the airport newsstand from the seat pocket in front of her.

"Yeah, whatever," said Clint, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He was nine years and 6 months older than Darcy. That wasn't _too_ bad. At least, he didn't let it bother him too much on good days. Leaning back and spreading out his legs as much as he could, Clint crossed his arms. From the corner of his eyes, he watched as Darcy began flipping through the magazine. She always joked that she skimmed through them to try and understand more of Jane's babble but she always took her time with the articles. Often she'd underline or circle words, looking up theories and chewing on her thumb. Sometimes, she'd read an article a few times before clarity registered on her face. Clint had secretly watched her do it numerous times now. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Clint cleared it and Darcy looked up at the noise.

"You have a sister, right?"

"Oh yeah, Sophie," Darcy remembered cheerfully, shutting the magazine. "About to turn 16 and she's going through her rebellious phase. If it's not related to Gerard Way or on her phone, she probably won't care. So off the hook on that one."

"Gerard who?"

"Lead singer in a band, wears eyeliner and sullen in a sexy way according Sophie."

"Oh…" intoned Clint, sort of understanding.

"Okay," Darcy pulled out her phone and brought up photos of a pretty brunette who had ghosts of Darcy's features but was taller and skinnier. She also had a glint in her eyes that Clint didn't trust. "This is Amy."

"Is that crazy in her eyes?" asked Clint, brow furrowing as Darcy nodded fervently.

"Yeah, I know right? Why are my dad, Sophie and I the only ones who see it? Ugh, she wants me to wear this horrible bridesmaid dress that makes my ass look like I'm trying to hypnotize someone!" groaned Darcy, and Clint could tell she was gearing up for a rant. The plane ride was going to be delightfully quick. He was also wondering what the hell this bridesmaid dress looked like.

* * *

Arizona was warm and sunny, a welcome change from New York. As much as Darcy liked living in New York City, she would always love consistently warm weather and open spaces. Though, droughts were something she could do without. The moment that Clint walked out of the plane and onto the ramp, already feeling the heat of Arizona, his face lit up. Darcy secretly watched him, taking joy in the happiness residing in every line of his face and the ease that settled in his body. It wasn't something Clint really let himself feel often. Darcy thought he certainly deserved it. She tried to make him happy, with little quips and buying him fancy coffee blends but she didn't see herself ever being able to make him happy on a long term basis.

They made their way to baggage claim, Clint skimming through a pamphlet on tourist attractions in Phoenix and Darcy looking through the hotel room confirmation email. The plan was to rent a car, head to the hotel and part ways until she introduced him to her parents and little sister just before dinner. Darcy would be engulfed in bridesmaid duties and Clint was gonna knock back margaritas at the poolside. Tonight's dinner was thankfully a low key one. Just Darcy's immediate family eating Mexican food before the crazy of the wedding spilled into every minute of their lives. Also, some time to let Darcy and Clint sleep off the slight time difference.

Truth be told, she was also looking forward to spending as much time alone with Clint until she was dragged away. Even if it was just a half hour car ride. She really did enjoy it when it was just the two of them. A small part of Darcy had a crush on Clint, though she loathed to admit it because she knew it would just signal to the universe that all her hopes needed to be destroyed. She kept it to herself, stealing glances and laughter when she could.

So when Darcy saw her mother and Sophie waiting at baggage claim, she stopped walking and gaped. After a few steps without her, Clint noticed her surprise but he followed her gaze and easily guessed what happened when Mrs. Lewis squealed Darcy's name in joy. Taking it all in stride, Darcy grit her teeth and smiled. Clint placed a warm hand on her lower back, playing the part of a good boyfriend and offering her a shrug and smile that showed he didn't care. It made the lightest of flutters rush through her gut.

Ignoring it all, Darcy finished the short distance and let her mother wrap tight arms around her. She allowed herself to be engulfed in a tight hug and just before it ended, she enjoyed the memory of her childhood- security she'd long since lost. When they broke apart, Darcy hugged a grumpy Sophie, just to annoy the little emo and also because she did genuinely miss her baby sister. The kid had been texting her the terrible updates of the wedding progress up until this point and this was probably one of the few moments calm they were going to have. What a fun few days it was going to be.

"And where have you been hiding this handsome man?" Mrs. Lewis asked, pulled Clint into a big hug. Clint gave Darcy a confused glance but Darcy's was just as surprised as him in the warm welcome. When they pulled way, Mrs. Lewis grabbed Clint's head and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

"Mom's been drinking Bloody Marys all day," Sophie supplied helpfully and Darcy's mouth formed an understanding 'o'.

"You hush Sophie. It's not a crime to enjoy a wedding," Mrs. Lewis scoffed, turning back to Darcy and tried to whisper. Though her tipsy whispers tended to range from average volume to a little too loud. "Honey, I'm so glad we finally get to meet Clint! You should have seen your Aunt Jodie's face when I told her about your date. She had it in her mind that you were a lesbian. Can you believe that?"

That made Darcy send Sophie a raised eyebrow. The teen snickered as she stared at her phone. Sophie had been the only one in the family who knew about her original lesbian lover plan and very likely told mom's oldest sister. Mom and Jodie were locked in a decades long sibling rivalry that was never helped by the fact Amy preferred distant Aunt Jodie to Aunt Hannah and always insisted in inviting Jodie to Lewis Family get togethers. The pot stirring she-beast.

"But I set her straight," Mrs. Lewis continued as they made their way to the baggage claim belt. "Even told her that Clint had a well to-do job. Hope that's fine."

"I told Aunt Jodie that Clint saved the president's life," Sophie said, not taking her eyes off her phone but still smirking like a little shit. Both Darcy and her mother rolled their eyes.

"I'll love telling her the story then," said Clint with a small shrug. "Jumped in the way and everything. Even have a scar to prove it."

"You'll do just fine here," Mrs. Lewis patted his chest. Darcy sent Clint a small thankful smile. They waited a few moments for the baggage claim belt to start up but it stayed still.

"So mom, why did you decide to pick us up? You know we were gonna rent a car," Darcy tried to say nonchalantly but nervousness still shone through.

"Oh honey, I almost forgot. Slight change of plans. The girls want me to take you straight to lunch for some catch up time and Clint's gonna meet your father at the hotel. Your father and the other fathers are already there are watching some of the younger kids today."

"But I thought I'd introduce Clint to daddy tonight at dinner," argued Darcy, not liking how the day was turning. And it was only 11 AM.

"I know but I thought it would be a great for Clint to meet him now, since you won't see him until the big dinner tonight. The girls said you'll be booked all day."

"What big dinner?" asked Darcy, voice lowering in shock and discontent. "I thought it was just gonna be us."

"We thought it would be nice for the whole family to get together for dinner tonight. Your Aunt Jodie planned it all. I had no say in it," claimed Mrs. Lewis, gesturing that she had washed her hands of the matter. It explained why she'd been drinking so early in the day. With a geared shudder, the belt finally began to moving. Darcy sighed and hoped their bags were the last ones off.

"Oh that reminds me, smile!" Sophie said, perking up. She lifted her phone and took a picture of Clint. When everyone stared at her, she attempted an innocent expression which didn't work so well with her heavy, black eye makeup. "Aunt Jodie said she'd pay me 25 bucks if I show her a real picture of Clint. She's convinced Clint was fake and would have a convenient reason not to come."

"She did, did she?" Mrs. Lewis crossed her arms, anger beginning to boil in her eyes. She was planning revenge. Darcy knew what that slightly wrinkled nose and ever so pursed lips meant. Hell, she inherited that look from her mom.

"My left side is my better side," Clint told Sophie, moving into a pose that Darcy was pretty sure he had taken from Tony. He angled his body away from Sophie and stared steamily in to the camera. Darcy wondered if Clint was a secret camera-whore or if he just decided to earn the fondue.

"Oh, good one. Aunt Jodie's gonna be _mad_ ," Sophie said and took a couple of photos with various color filters. Mrs. Lewis giggled in joy, happy she didn't have to do too much revenge planning for now.

"This is gonna be a long weekend," huffed Darcy.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine," Clint assured, stepping next to Darcy and wrapping his arms around her shoulder to pull her into a hug. It was comforting and her worry began to ebb away. "I'll be fine. Go and gossip and I'll behave when I meet your dad."

"See Darcy, Clint's fine with it," Mrs. Lewis insisted, cooing over the affectionate display. "Your father is gonna love him."

"Dad hated Matt. I think anyone else is a step up," smirked Sophie.

"Your father never hated Matt," scoffed Mrs. Lewis, "he just thought the boy lacked…lacked maturity."

"Dad thought he was a tool," Sophie said in a tone that suggested she also had the same sentiment. Darcy felt the sudden urge to defend Matt but let it pass. Instead, she held onto Clint tighter. When he squeezed back, Darcy lay her cheek on his chest, soaking up affection she knew she'd not have another chance to fully enjoy when they were back in reality.

"Watch your language young lady," Mrs. Lewis warned. Not at all perturbed, Sophie snapped a picture of Darcy and Clint's embrace. Realizing what she was doing, Clint kissed the top of Darcy's head and waited for Sophie to take a few more 'candid' pictures. A part of her was annoyed but also a little touched at how similar Sophie was to her. She also didn't want to break contact with Clint, enjoying the pressure of his head atop hers. When Darcy saw her bag appear on the belt, she pulled away and ran towards it. Now was not the time for sentimental feelings that would blow up in her face faster than a Stark experiment. Clint followed her, attempting to grab the bag before her. She heard him call out to Sophie.

"If you get paid more for those pictures, we want a cut of the profit."


End file.
